Don't get me wrong, I think about her often. I call her to ask cooking questions. To just tell her things I'm feeling. To share things Alan is doing. To share my concerns and need for prayer. That is what has gotten me thinking so much. She made me who I am. She taught me how to be a woman. A wife. A mother. There is no better way to teach than by example. I know I have an extremely rare situation with my momma. I have always felt close to her. I didn't realize until I became a wife how much she taught me. She showed me how to take care of my husband. I not only learned things to do, but also things I wanted to do differently. She taught me to be able to provide for myself. This came in extremely useful. I feel that she made me extremely independent. Almost to a fault sometimes. I consider that to be at the very root of my character. Whether you think that is a character flaw or not, that's your decision to make.
I feel that it has come in handy throughout my life. I wanted to be able to take care of myself, so in high school, I got jobs on my own. Learning to be a hard worker from her definitely helped me keep those jobs. As I sit here, as a mother myself, I can't help but be retrospective. I look at my mother's mother. The way she raised momma. To be independent. Who I am is also because the way my grandmother raised my momma. Will I now determine who my daughter will be? I hope so. I hope I can pass on the virtues that have been taught to me by the strong, independent women in my family. My momma is a wonderful mother, caring and supportive wife, and a completely selfless woman. I can only hope to "grow up" to be just like her. I know how funny it must sound to say I am still growing up. I bet of you think about yourself, you feel the same way. Deep down inside, I still feel like I always have. My perception of myself is not changing as I age. I am shocked regularly that I have already lived away from home and been out from under my mother's wing for ten years. When I moved away, I knew it was for good. Something inside me always knew that. Momma raised me to be able to leave and be successful. I pray that as I live my life, I am making her proud. I hope that I can be the kind of mother she was for me. My sweet Alan and Anne Marie deserve no less than the best
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